How funny is that to realize that it used to be so much fun to make fun out of a funny person that innitially a funny pleasure but now I want to patch things up after what I have done. Funny.
I want to patch things up; like torn fabrics, pieces by pieces, sew it back, accordingly, and get a beautiful dress out of the fabric pieces.
I tried but awhile later, I realized it's stupid to feel that because you and I are no more friends. I think I just want to feel lesser guitly or I just plainly want to make my world peaceful.
Everything I've done is my little silly pleasure without realizing that all are painful momories to you. I had so much fun of doing that. I avoid seeing you, all the people and I boxed you every single moment because I am the sweetheart of everyone, they chose me instead of you. I make you feel down like forever, like completely, emotionally down to the core and you started to ignore yourself.
I think I miss those quality moment with you; I think I miss the moment where you listen to my rants and bullshit; I think I miss the moment where you make me a hero; I think I miss the moment when you're the medium for outsiders to get reach to me. Sadly to tell you that, lately, your face and voice started to get blurry in my mind and I hardly see your face in my memory.
I'm not seeking for forgiveness because even if I say sorry to you now, it's totally not sincerely from me, neither of my people. Even if I want to apologize, I'm not sure what's that for because you're the one who turn your back on me. Once, I nearly turn my back on you, and I didn't but I'm pretty sure the bonding between us back then was the big part of the reason why I never fail to stand by you.
I've done my part and now it's your turn to make the call. My feelings are complicated and guess no better words could describe me better than "reap what you sow". Your space in my mind will be taken by something else and there's nothing left for you anymore.Your space in my mind will be taken by something else and there's nothing left for you anymore. I will never look back, I look forward and walk with my head high, I will go through it fearless and stay focus.
I don't mean to screw the friendship because this time, you are the one who done that. I'm overjoyed with my life now and everything seems so beautiful to me. Heard that you life is pretty much messed up now :)
Can you see how happy I am?