Honestly, I am in bad mood ever since don't know when and all I did is fake out a smile. I don't really think I have readers that read through my entire entries line by line patiently. Undeniably most of you prefer photo blog compared to wordy blog, no?
Had a supper with one of my secondary friends whom quite close to my current boyfriend. She is indeed a funny and caring friend. We had conversation about relationship and so she asked if I am annoyed if someone ever asked me about my planning of getting married. People here see my boyfriend and I as a perfect couple and we've been in a long relationship. Frankly speaking, I am happy being with him but bear with me, I think I want more.
I used to have a close relationship with this particular guy one year younger than me and he was totally a jerk to me, used to. I don't like him being possessive and overprotective. I want to have a circle my own and time to breathe. He would called me every day after school time and minutes before I walk out from the door for sports training, he would call again to inform me that he'll wait me outside the training centre. Have I emphasized that he is never a boyfriend but a close friend of mine, only?
I don't like tall guys because they make me feel short. Once, I was told by a male friend that my height is perfectly suit with his height. He has this distinctive smile that gave me quite an impact ever since. I started to observe and analyzed him. We thought we could be friends but things don't always go my way. He is rather another possessive man. Why he even bother to mention how perfectly we match with each other if he is not capable to respect me? At least don't hate my close friends?
Why are guys tend to be so possessive? I want a man that can learn to respect me. Where I was young, a person punched my Donald duck soft toys because he was jealous. I was what.the.hell. And you bloody moron punched my favorite soft toy, what.the.hell.double.
You always thought that this is the only person you can love in this world, then you find somebody else. When the relationship goes wrong, many would rather to hold it tight than letting it go. But what if you take a step back and look at it? Give yourself a space and time, when time goes by, somehow you'll feel grateful. We think there are only A or B, nobody can tell you which way is better, but choosing either way is going to hurt, why not just choose one that hurt you less?
People change, I changed. Frankly speaking, my current relationship is peacefully ordinary. I feel peace in heart. And now, I started to miss the moment. I took big steps and now I want to slow it down. Rewind and start all over again. I occupied myself with extraordinary activities, by what I mean is activity that I never thought I would involve with. Photography, Ice skating, blogging and etc.
During my college time, we have this funny story speculated among the students. I was the head of student for engineering faculty and the course representative. People come to me for things; most of the time I don't give immediate response and at first they thought I was being ignorance. As the matter of fact, I was thinking, I was talking to myself in this isolated space of mine (mind) and I was focus. Then, my course mates found my little secret and they started to bear with my ignorance whenever I was the wee-wang-wang mode. It's not a random stuff to tell but I know these make me an ignorance person because if you don't response others, you are rather an ignorance jerk. So, I started to have things in my hand. Pen, paper sheet, key-chain and etc. The dumbbell-look-alike as below is one if it.
Apparently, I'm a thinker. I think all the time, I talk to myself most of the time. I tend to see things from different perspectives and I take precautions. I take steps carefully because I know things are going to mess up real bad if I am not careful enough. Somehow the excitement is overwhelming and I don't take careful steps. My first Diana F+ film is one of the consequences. Only one out of 16 frames successfully captured. I found out that I used the wrong plastic frame for my shooting.
Have a great Wednesday, people :)
